I hate peas
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Seriously, hate them. Yes, hate is a strong word, yet, oh so appropriate. What I also hate? When people put peas in perfectly good food thinking that will make the peas or the food better. No, it does not. It just makes the perfectly good food bad and wrong and evil. The pestilent power of the pea is just that poweful. Why do you put peas in a lovely pasta dish with creamy sauce and tender chunks of chicken? What could possibly make someone think that the pasta salad they are bringing to the picnic needs peas? Who in their right mind violates the perfect nirvana of macaroni noodles and melted cheese by blending in a mushy, green badness? Who does this? Borrowing a term from a dumb-ass I won't name on my blog, I think they are evil-doers. Only evil-doers could possibly devise the violation of such celestial and refreshing dishes.

Are there any foods you hate enough that they can ruin your most favorite meal in the whole entire world?

Thank You, World...
Thursday, September 25, 2008
for chocolate chip cookies and M&Ms. They have helped me survive yet another day with the Sarbanes-Oxley auditors. Without them I surely would have perished in some spectacular fashion. Death by stapler or possibly Post-it note papercut. I wonder if Post-its can make it through to the ulnar artery...

Random Thoughts
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Said to me by my husband as he walked out the door with our daughter in his hands on his way to daycare. "Lock the door behind me. I can't have one of the 2 most precious things in this world hurt or stolen." You can say it with me...aaaaaawwwwwww!

There is nothing quite like a long luxurious back arching stretch after sitting for a long time in one spot. The kind where you raise your arms over your head and lean back until you see stars. Those are the best. Unless you lean too far back, hit your head on the glass shelf behind you and then stub your pinky toe so bad it almost tears the nail off. Those aren't as great.

I love geek humor. Overheard at work today.
Geek 1: Having that could be considered an excess.
Geek 2 (butting in): I have that on my computer! Version 2007!
Ok, I guess you have to be geeky to think this was funny.

Angles of Perception
Friday, September 12, 2008
You know what? Your thighs don't look as fat when your butt bulges out beyond any normal propotions.

I shouldn't be wearing pants this tight...

The Husband's Take on Fringe
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
We watched the premiere of the new show, Fringe last night and I get this in my mail today from the husband.

I thought of something they could do on Fringe. You know how the blond woman was in a tank of salt water while tripping on LSD with a metal probe jammed into a her brain cord connected to a man with a flesh eating disease who wasn't conscious (for communication purposes of course)?

For the next episode, they should try to bring that guy back to life: AKA reanimation. This time: they should place her in a tub while wearing blue lingerie (because for this to work correctly, our bimbo in question must be fully or partially nude?). The doctor, his son, and the cow can then urinate on her to fill the tub up with some liquid (we all know that for reanimation to work properly, there must be at least 24 ozs of fresh urine).

Then they throw a toaster in the water to cause her to have an electrical shock and club her over the head with a baseball bat to make sure she temporarily dies, which in turn gets the other guy living again.

The doc can then bring bimbo back to life afterwards with a jolt of 220 or 440 electrical current because the urine smell would help preserve her body.

Oh yeah.........huge fan of the show and I'm sure my logic correlates just as well as the doc's.


I actually liked the show, but you know I'm not much of a critic.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008
I'm not one to be easily annoyed by words and idiosyncracies of human nature, but I've recently found (not so much of) a word that pushes my super, annoyed button.

Chillaxin' or chillax.

Being a user of the word combinations myself (in-freaking-credible, ri-goddamn-diculous and fantabulous are some personal faves) I could give 2 (or 3 or 6) shits about people using them in general. I can't even pinpoint the exact reason why the combination of chill and relax bothers me so much. I'll just leave it at - it bugs the shit (7 or 8 of them) out of me.

Any (not so much) words or word combinations that bother you?

Farewell, kind friend
It was approximately 1200 hours on September 1st that things started not feeling right. A nap for the husband and myself seemed to be in order since the daughter went down for a nap after the 1000 hours nap was ineffectual. This may have been the turning point when the attack began. The post-nap state of the body was not favorable. There had been a battle in the throat region with many casualties, but the front lines in the sinus cavities was the site with the largest death toll. Whether it was allergies or the cold virus it didn't matter at this point. It was full on WW-something (I've lost count of the number). At this instant, I am losing the front lines, but I've been able to flank the enemy in the esophagus pass with the tea manuever. Sadly, the nasal spray strategy has not been successful. I'll keep you posted on any developments.

Healthy body, we had a good run. 4 long happy months together, so I can't complain too much. I still miss you. Please come back soon. XOXOXOXOXO