Adventures in Grocery Shopping
Saturday, January 27, 2007
My typical grocery shopping experience at the store I normally go to is usually quite pleasant. I recently had the pleasure of shopping at the store I try to avoid because of the area and was reminded of exactly why I avoid that store.

1. I immediately get stuck in the aisle behind a large smelly man wearing the same sweatpants that he has probably had on all week. He doesn't seem to be able to decide between the Campbell's Chicken Noodle or the store brand.
2. While standing in the dairy aisle picking out yogurt I get VERY LOUD TALKING MAN ON HIS CELL PHONE. He's reading the Jello flavors out to someone on the other end of the phone. Have they really changed the Jello flavors that much over the years?
3. While walking down the center aisle I am just about mowed down by "too busy to pause at the end of the aisle woman with a very full cart and hardly enough time to mutter 'sorry' because she just about clipped me with her heavy ass cart".
4. The final straw is deciding which check-out aisle will be the fastest. My choice? Always the slowest.

On a side note:
Picture a 40'ish year old man, slightly balding, gray hair with nice clean pressed jeans and no wedding band. In his grocery basket he has an industrial size bag of frozen hot wings, a 12 pack of beer, a bottle of Pepto-Bismol, a bottle of Motrin IB and Snausages. Sounds like he has an exciting Friday ahead for him and his lucky dog, Sparky.