Size DOES Matter
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
I hate shopping and yes, I am a girl. I should clarify that statement. I love shopping for other people and hate shoppping for myself (unless there are shoes involved). Since I was recently pregnant I finally rid myself of the old 80's style high waisted, tapered leg pants that I was wearing to work. Those sad garments were ripping at the seams, (Can you say "crotch hole"?) shredding at the cuff and zippers were being held up by safety pins. I wasn't going to be wearing them for approximately 9 months anyway, so I put them in the trash knowing I would have to replace them after I lost the baby weight (HA!) in March or April.

I fought the longest I could, continuing to wear the cotton-stretch, yoga pants I wore all through my pregnancy until it just wasn't looking professional and I felt like a total loser in my cotton-stretch, yoga pants. I went shopping this weekend. Here is the problem with shopping, I'm a pear. A full on pear shaped person. Basically, this means I have a size 8 or 10 ass with a size 4 waist. I've got ghetto bootie. This makes trying on buying pants excruciatingly painful. A few years ago I found a style of Dockers that fit everywhere and they were a size 6. I was in heaven. I only bought 2 pairs of these pants though and wearing the same 2 pairs of pants over and over again all week would get me labeled something unfortunate at work.

Meanwhile, back at the store, I found some more Dockers, but these were not my beautiful Dockers of past. These were size 8 Dockers with a size 8 waist. Not good. I stuck with Stacy and Clinton's (I'm trying to avoid getting nominated for that show, I really am!) suggestion to dress the biggest part of me, but now I have plumber butt. I hate wearing belts. They cut into my waist and bunch the pants up and just looks bad, bad, bad. So, now what? Do I go to a tailor? Can they even fix pants like this without putting in pleats (which are the devil you know!!)? You can yell at me later for buying 3 pairs of these poorly fitting pants, but they do make my butt look good (according to the husband at least).

Another Fortune for the Day
Thursday, August 21, 2008
You'll accomplish more later if you take some time for yourself.

I'm beginning to think the writers of these fortunes have been watching me and know exactly how much of a procrastinator I am.

Funnel Cakes
Friday, August 15, 2008
Yum! That was my first thought too when I was behind a funnel cake carnival cart today on my way home from work. I can't deny that the thought of following the delicacy laden cart to its destination in order to partake of the gooey sugar coated goodness didn't cross my mind. That would have been awesome. Yet, I remained on course when the mobile enchantress made a turn off the highway onto another highway taking the doughy manna from heaven with it. I was strong today, but that doesn't mean I didn't blow a kiss to it as it drove away.

Fortune for the day
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
You deserve to have a good time after a hard day's work.

Yes, I do.

Tag and I'm it
Monday, August 11, 2008
Thanks to Karol I'm stuck doing one of these things. I'm entirely too boring to ever have something entertaining to share (which is why I usually blog about stuff I see other people doing), but here goes.

1. Link to the person who tagged you
2. Post the rules on your blog
3. Write 6 random things about yourself
4. Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them (HA!)
5. Let each person you have tagged know by leaving a comment on their blog (HA!)
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is posted. (this I can do)

Random things:

1. I'm a food re-arranger. I move around the lettuce, tomotao, cheese and sour cream on my tacos so it's evenly distributed. I remove all the salt from my pretzels before I eat them, but I refuse to buy non-salted pretzels because they don't taste as good. I pick out onions, cabbage and peppers from all my salads.

2. I have the cutest little 6.5 month old in the world. Seriously, I do. I'm not just saying that. She really is.

3. I have tendonitis in my left wrist and it hurts. Waaahhh to me.

4. I listen to Howard Stern every day. He's funny!

5. I'm tired, tired all the time.

6. And finally, after hours of debate and trying to think of something interesting...I had steak and potato soup for dinner and I might have it for lunch today too. You can thank me later for making this post so stimulating to read.

I won't be tagging anyone for this because I'm a rule breaker and all my blogging friends have already been tagged (I think). I'm too lazy to check and make sure.

Watching the Olympics with the husband
It's always interesting. Last night we were watching the women's gymnastics and at the end all the girls were huddled together doing a pep talk with each other.

My husband says "They should just do a group kiss". They didn't, so he changed the channel because "We need to manly it back up in here". Thank god "Diehard" was on last night or else the manly level would have dropped way too low.

Movies, movies, movies
Monday, August 04, 2008
I am not a movie conissuier by any stretch of the imagination. This is evidenced by the fact that I will watch this movie every single time I catch it on TV.

Please don't judge me. Despite this lack of ability to analyze and critique movies there are 3 that I have turned off, walked out of and stopped watching in the hope of sending it back to the abyss of awful movies.

The first one is "Bringing Out the Dead" with Nicholas Cage. I made the unfortunate decision to pay to watch this movie at the theater with my then boyfriend (now husband) and 2 of his friends. It was awful. We lasted longer than the 4 people behind us who left disgusted at approximately halfway through the movie. We left shortly after that, but not before we threw popcorn at the screen in protest.

The second movie was "The Hills Have Eyes". I've never been a big horror movie fan, but my husband just had to watch this since his parents thought it was wonderful. We got through an hour and a half without anything but a dog dying mysteriously by what could have been construed as a bear or mountain lion. We turned this one off and sent it back to Blockbuster right away.

The third movie was King Kong (the latest one). We were so bored by the time the humongous insects and dinosaurs arrived that we begged my in-laws (who once again thought this movie was GREAT!) to turn it off. We know how it ends anyway...the gorilla dies. Sob.

Am I wrong in my assessment of just how unbearable these movies are to watch? Are there any movies that you couldn't be bothered to finish watching?

Too scared to turn around
Friday, August 01, 2008
Overheard behind me at work:

- Slap sound.
Intern #1: It's not tingling yet. I like when it tingles. Oh, now it's tingling!
Intern #2: Were you backing off? Let's try it again!
- Grunting sound.
Intern #2: Try harder. Harder. Oh, hey! That's pretty good!
- Giggling and they both leave.

Join me in being too scared to turn around.