It's everywhere. The dogs do it, the daughter does it and the husband and I do it. We're up to our asses in poo (hee hee).
Pooer #1. The damn dogs. They had to be moved out of the house due to some severe allergy issues and they are not happy dogs now. It's a bit colder out there despite the carpet and blankets we provide. The largest one (the one that creates the largest poo of course) has decided that pooing outside is overrated. The garage floor next to my car is much more convenient. And it stinks. A lot. She's about to find out the garage isn't so bad compared to a dog house outside. Stupid dog would probably love it though. She's a Saint Bernard after all and there is snow and cold to be had outside. I won't even get into the poo eating, 'nother topic for 'nother day. Ick.
Pooer #2 is the daughter who for the second day in a row has woken me up early with some of the nastiest, smelliest poo I've ever encountered and gotten on my hands and shirt. I think there might be some in my hair right now, but I'm denying the stinky evidence. This poo oozes it's way out of the diaper and gets in every little crack and crevice. It's like an alien poo from some far-off planet called, Ordure Excreta 7. Just this morning the daughter got me twice with this unholy excrement. It was not a "Good morning!" like we tell daycare when she gets dropped off every day.
Pooer #3 and #4 are the husband and I. We poo. That's part of life. One of us plugged the toilet recently, but I'm not going to name names (to keep the shame private). The plugger did have to go the store and buy a plunger, milk and pick up a birthday cake because we had guests coming that day. The innocent party rightfully refused to make the trip for these items.
I'm going to have to order butt-plugs soon. You should stay tuned for pee filled days and nights.
Pooer #1. The damn dogs. They had to be moved out of the house due to some severe allergy issues and they are not happy dogs now. It's a bit colder out there despite the carpet and blankets we provide. The largest one (the one that creates the largest poo of course) has decided that pooing outside is overrated. The garage floor next to my car is much more convenient. And it stinks. A lot. She's about to find out the garage isn't so bad compared to a dog house outside. Stupid dog would probably love it though. She's a Saint Bernard after all and there is snow and cold to be had outside. I won't even get into the poo eating, 'nother topic for 'nother day. Ick.
Pooer #2 is the daughter who for the second day in a row has woken me up early with some of the nastiest, smelliest poo I've ever encountered and gotten on my hands and shirt. I think there might be some in my hair right now, but I'm denying the stinky evidence. This poo oozes it's way out of the diaper and gets in every little crack and crevice. It's like an alien poo from some far-off planet called, Ordure Excreta 7. Just this morning the daughter got me twice with this unholy excrement. It was not a "Good morning!" like we tell daycare when she gets dropped off every day.
Pooer #3 and #4 are the husband and I. We poo. That's part of life. One of us plugged the toilet recently, but I'm not going to name names (to keep the shame private). The plugger did have to go the store and buy a plunger, milk and pick up a birthday cake because we had guests coming that day. The innocent party rightfully refused to make the trip for these items.
I'm going to have to order butt-plugs soon. You should stay tuned for pee filled days and nights.
2 Comments:
AHHHH. no fun at your house. suddenly going to work tonight doesn't seem so bad:) thanks!
I'm laughing my ass off right now!
Ceasar poos and pees on the deck (only when it snows) because God forbid he walk down the steps to the yard, it's freaking cold out!
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