I have E. Coli and I'm going to die!
Friday, September 15, 2006
Ok, technically I don't have it right now for sure, but I know I'm going to have it soon. I just read this on the news about eating packaged spinach and that's what I consume every day for lunch with some nice poppy seed dressing and a light sprinkling of bacon bits (for flavor!). Now I'm going to die. I'll begin shooting bloody diarrhea out of my ass tonight right after I eat those yummy chicken fajitas I am going to make for dinner. Then I will be running to the movie theater bathroom every 5 minutes during Artie Lange's Beer League to shoot flaming fajita liquid out of my ass.

I was fine about 30 minutes ago after I had finished my little salad, baby carrots and nectarine. Now my stomach hurts and I am about to warn my employer that I won't be in next week due to death by E. Coli. It was nice knowing I got to put something out there for people to read before I leave this earth. Goodbye everyone! I will miss you all!


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